23 Mar 2013

point

in general, my words aren't generous
when i write, it's to complain
i tend not to share happiness, in text
though, i figure if i felt it more, i'd share it more, too
but who can tell what, where, when there's
so much synthetic in the substratum
and happiness is now a subset of economic theory

? meaning means less than ever
and okay, death

generally

waiting for the stomach to settle

eating isn't healthy
wears out the tubes
life is killing me

and i'll drag everyone down
and i know how i sound
as well

habits formed in the meta-game, meta-stable malignancy
it'll be hard to dislodge what's congealed
this absurdity might continue for an absurdly long time
past what you'd think would be sustainable


waiting for a settled stomach, or some spoof of that
so i can swallow one of a series of pills, take an extra traz
to just embrace sleep with an extra wide stretch of the arms - and not bother with another statement on extra glut - but, see cloudy punctuation and gauzy syntax swirl - and sound like half a self - and shrink from things - with or without corrosive intoxicants, my world gets smaller and smaller, like people shrink in old age, whether that be mental or physical or an acute dilation of this too shall pass - cracked-out lyrics, don't say that word, cause i failed to write the libretto on the subject that would have conquered several worlds - fuck it - fuck that, fuck them, fuck y'all



gluroakrle - won't dignify with an apostrophe - behold the unwritten, unsent email response - decomposed in the mind - phosphate in fertilizer - gotta mean something - sulfide solution - shrink wrap tear

it's harder and harder and harder to assemble any meaning to this process of pushing food through tubes - so congratulations, void, you won my heart and mind


resounding stomach
pet name for a pill, so cute
and tree frogs, and kittycats, also cute
and despite being the most slapdash avatar for dionysis yet, he still spoke the truth when he said
"love hides in the strangest places", i don't deny that
so, it's not all lost, just so fucked up the system's crying for a hard reset
which will probably not happen within the time it takes my tubes to wear out to an unsupportable toxic chemical dump in a bag of human flesh, but it will happen at some point, no thanks to me
being part of the problem, and useless except as a lamentation artist
with a leviticus postscript
the earth's museum
and one thing and another like that




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