23 Mar 2013

point

in general, my words aren't generous
when i write, it's to complain
i tend not to share happiness, in text
though, i figure if i felt it more, i'd share it more, too
but who can tell what, where, when there's
so much synthetic in the substratum
and happiness is now a subset of economic theory

? meaning means less than ever
and okay, death

generally

waiting for the stomach to settle

eating isn't healthy
wears out the tubes
life is killing me

and i'll drag everyone down
and i know how i sound
as well

habits formed in the meta-game, meta-stable malignancy
it'll be hard to dislodge what's congealed
this absurdity might continue for an absurdly long time
past what you'd think would be sustainable


waiting for a settled stomach, or some spoof of that
so i can swallow one of a series of pills, take an extra traz
to just embrace sleep with an extra wide stretch of the arms - and not bother with another statement on extra glut - but, see cloudy punctuation and gauzy syntax swirl - and sound like half a self - and shrink from things - with or without corrosive intoxicants, my world gets smaller and smaller, like people shrink in old age, whether that be mental or physical or an acute dilation of this too shall pass - cracked-out lyrics, don't say that word, cause i failed to write the libretto on the subject that would have conquered several worlds - fuck it - fuck that, fuck them, fuck y'all



gluroakrle - won't dignify with an apostrophe - behold the unwritten, unsent email response - decomposed in the mind - phosphate in fertilizer - gotta mean something - sulfide solution - shrink wrap tear

it's harder and harder and harder to assemble any meaning to this process of pushing food through tubes - so congratulations, void, you won my heart and mind


resounding stomach
pet name for a pill, so cute
and tree frogs, and kittycats, also cute
and despite being the most slapdash avatar for dionysis yet, he still spoke the truth when he said
"love hides in the strangest places", i don't deny that
so, it's not all lost, just so fucked up the system's crying for a hard reset
which will probably not happen within the time it takes my tubes to wear out to an unsupportable toxic chemical dump in a bag of human flesh, but it will happen at some point, no thanks to me
being part of the problem, and useless except as a lamentation artist
with a leviticus postscript
the earth's museum
and one thing and another like that




17 Mar 2013

just noticed, when about to make a poetic update, that everything deemed worthy to be on my newsfeed has a big annoying photo - that's what the network wants to see, no leatherbound, non-illustrated heap of text, not fit to print - that's why i'll post here and not there, conventions are starting to crystallize in shards that poke me aggressively into shrinking postures of propriety, so fuck facebook and crack metaphors and social chores

we'll all end up in the same sewer pipe everything's swirling into anyway, it's not like i'm significantly better or worse, my delusions of grandeur and over-corrections with shame shindigs are predictable pentacyclic permutations, something very similar to something i would say

14 Mar 2013

i love global hotkeys

hotkey love, encompassing love of power

glakatu shekwek

glakuh, glakuhtaurus checkhak

they thsould call you thsqueek *i used a th and an s, thso iths only a half listhp, not a full listhp, the bethst of both worldths, yayah, put that in your panel*

emergency medical transcription is a game, a theory, and a hallucination - the past is history, but it's not even past, and the future's a mystery but it's bearing down on me - or actually, not really, it's not even a mystery, it takes forever, tomorrow and today are so blurred together in a monotonous slur, but at the moment, i'm grinding on energy cause it's so manifested for a lil lolitalic interval and i refuse to think of fleetingness

oh thsqueek, i just wanted to say oh to somebody, yo
reprusen'

9 Mar 2013

quick scan

for your name here ____. If you take one thing out of this, take the blank. Rather, scratch that. Pen odes to pain abolition. It's good to set goals I'm accomplishing while writing. Thin the blood that insults the body. Dilute the cells that swell the skin. Scrape acid-plastered teeth and brace for insulin shock - I'll be the outlier drone that lived amazingly long, just hung on, indecently, for so much time it's shameful.

I require that precise detritus comes back, it needs to, in a big way, like hair metal guitarists turning pintos into porsches through the power of their ROCK.