10/19/10

nature of necrophilia


more meaning now than ever in confusion and noise

this sorry state of surreal
patheticism, a state of pitifulality
next to sacredity
low down pettiness
next to cleanliness in its purity of foolishness
something that would seem sublime if connoted
from a system of hypnogogic recall
this sorry state
i'll call my nature

nature means so much now
as a way of distinguishing from artificial
an operational dichotomy, this exhausting jangle of artificial shards
is my nature, there you go, a metric conversion, a sum

let there be more sweat-slathered daysleep
let, nevermind the blood, i won't go there again
just haze it out in delirium shy of disturbance
opaguerated opinions

what the fuck? why won't the page lounge?
i won't put this or that in context, don't feel like playing the blame game
it's okay, i don't expect anyone to throw rocks from their glass trailers

this is such a base haze, but it's got curly-cues that intellectuals
would call pseudo-clever, but they're good enough for me, they're my
style, when i can savor the filth and decay, the kinetic energy of
degeneration, the expansion of diffusion, that's my economy

i need escape, it'll have to be poetry, everything will have to be
this well of bloodless sweaty skin-flakes

narcotized on nothing with no narcotics
not numb to the nothing
i could see a trip in this
could vaguely imagine one
trying to hallucinate hallucinations

weak snap

this is the oldest the universe has ever been
this is the last day of the preceding portion of my life

this would seem more worthy of posting
if i was high, or even low shortly after being high
it would seem to be the fitting denouement following the crescendo
of a well-crafted music video

still, words can be company
even when they’re dead
my sub-hallucinogenic imagination
can sort of animate them



i'm breaking free of context
can't stress enough how confining that's been
goddamn motherfucking crushing context
could barely breathe

how about the donut tree instead?
or instead of instead, in its stead
the donut tree? houses
one of the later blackouts of my botched
return to nelson... my thoughts are necrophilic
even my precious subconscious is living off toxic substrate
the only salvation is in words, sans context, that's all, just gotta write
for no reason, no crowd pleasing


i might kick the rotten wood off a fence post
as per my nature, really, it's in the taxonomy, within the fine print
rarely-expressed rage, the basis of which is... i wouldn't presume to say


when i shut my eyes, and writhe a bit the thoughts will turn to jelly
the neurotransmitters will run out of them, leaving weak soup
the frustrated emotion will remain
leading to another spike of rage, then a long slow descent
to slothful malcontent, then a quarter sleep, then as much as a half-sleep
maybe the hint of unnoticed hypnogogia, void-willing, oh i believe in the void
yes i do, i pray to the void, i think it can help me if anything can

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