survived hellish disgrace

survived missile attacks back and forth, over the forty ninth parallel
survived rogue soldiers in the streets, shooting automatics

bitter comedy routines acted out in chains hanging from the roof
drinking and puking into a glass of everclear to die and be re-animated

raz revenge, hiding a guy in the shed who was at the party
where i was disgraced (it happened twenty to fifty times)
to sting me, but after a few prayers, to god and the devil and my torturer
i saw the guy was a lowball charlatan, paid-off

psychotic meltdown, public masturbation in the side-yard
ex-lovers, mortal enemies, hell-bent on causing maximal misery

apartments, affordable, independence for externals
where my memory is burned, smoked with coke

survived a throat full of battery acid
driven away by the construction foreman, operating limbs by smell
diabetes ropes hung from highrise windows down to machines
swinging in the air, sunk in the ocean

compelled to dig through soiled information, things lying around
buried bacteria-slathered treasure, malicious pranks, no mercy
denver was destroyed, biohazardous material
montreal will pay, and it's my fault, it'll be traced
if it hasn't already, it's catching up, i'm fucked

a demonstration of my weakness on the asphalt playground
might as well sleep another three hours, intervals of yelling dad
a perfect symmetry, hell is my fault, opt-in, opt-out, no escape

cooler guy in the newer life, drawn with vague tracers over the net, here and there, up to this and that, back again, like the recurring dream, the knot of friends, mutually sour on me, 300 dollar rent and drugs

bad dreams

skylight on every ceiling in the famous neighbors' house - an open house - climbing from clear roof to roof, forgetting disgrace with the photographer