15 Jun 2008

let's not

let's not think about that thing
cause that thing reminds me of other things
things that pile up
and make me want to take things
that make me forget things
that take things from me
that give them back to me with other things
that i don't want

maybe if this was prose, she wouldn't roll her eyes
it would be prose pupil, the good student
in the schoolmaid outfit
a cheerleading squad
good cheer, good life

i loved living in literary universes
for as long as i could, i could take things
to extend the literary universes
it was life extension, time dilation
social negation, retardation
it was harmless, it was legal
it was something i got away with

i'll escape
i'll prison break every day i get the strength
every day's a holiday
every day the guards catch me - get their sights on me
shoot me, every day it hurts and sort of heals
every day's a scab overlay, i didn't want to think about that thing
so i looked at a painting, imagined it was my skin
implied something about that thing

grief is brief
life's too short for grief
life is all about forgetting to grieve
jugi fruits are tasty, but they leave an aftertaste
that's not so tasty, and they're probably bad for me
but why should i worry? do skin cells worry?
i'm just a cell, baby, that's my theory
just a pity people don't work for me
not anymore, it's not their fault
just the next stage
of ego cancer

it's better not to think about that
let's not

8 Jun 2008

roast beef and budadoze

i’m stopping off for jugi fruits on my way to the funeral
it’s easy to be stoic when you’re several mountains from the hospital
out of sight out of mind, tritronic distractions

she smoked for eighty some years
i’d say she won that gamble
she raised the woman that made me
maintained a beautiful family
blood is so strange
watered down in this age

alice died in the night
i’ve been learning to drive my whole life

profound paisley poetry

this won't mean anything in the morning
so i'd better write it now
while it's real

silk paisley fabric
ripped from a complete pair of pants
bought from a thrift store in kansas for cents
acting lampshade
2x paisley, folded
self-interlaced
classique serif fractalocutus

golden brown
texture like sun



i post here so that everyone can
see

everyone can
see

see the crystals
hear the crystals
taste the crystals
they're kind of piney, a bit like vinyl, and they'll rhyme, yo

paisley wasn't used or abused by us crazy guys tonight
contra and kita veto'd the scarf, i told luc:
fuck contra, i order you to wear that paisley fragment as a scarf
but then i felt stupid that we were both wearing paisley scarves
like i need any points in the homo column
it's not the paisley, it's the matching
i'm secure in my heterosexuality and paisley
it's that 0.05% that fucks with me
so i ditched the "scarf"
and write of the paisley fabric draped over
my newly installed 100-watt bulb
to make the moodlight right and not too bright
until the smell of burning starts

my subconscious is asking for a raise
says he can't live on minimum wage
i say i can't afford to pay him any more, sorry
wish i could help him, and i know he didn't even want to ask for that raise, but
we're all under the thumb of cerebral corporate cortex coincidence control office

there's crystals though
there's crystals and caves, there's stalacs and stalags, they make you feel brave, them make you forget, forget who you are, forget who you were, see who you might be, be who you might see, some might feel free, sometimes, and we're changing meter NOW da da NOW da da NOW. Cadence. Yes.

- sincerely,
the most pretentious ass in all of europe

edit: edited 4 times, what a douchebag

glass beach

sinews in, and let's go
straight to the horsemouth
plymouth, seven seems too much
deadly sins and dirty deeds on this glass beach
bizznatch

you work it out for yourself
meaning is so beautifully malleable
like a melody the grace ladies played
with finess, in that context,
examining details, contours, obstructions

it should be said, sampled
consequences
down the draino
we can all relate

except those of us who don't insufflate

demands are far away
far away, abstract, i demand
that, uh, wha?

guilt can't be all bad can it?
now i'm trying to start a religion
trying to find the one thing
the one thing
that will fix everything
yeah that's it
there it is, THAT
muthafucka

4 Jun 2008

don't tell me you expect nothing after
don't tell me that's what you expect
don't tell me you expect nothing after
don't tell me you have no regrets
don't tell me you have no regrets

i'm just a philosopher peasant
i'm just a literary dwarf
this life will be the death of my ego
rock, the strength of my soul
roll, the old riff on the soul

i take comfort in your disdain
outside your floodlights, something remains
in the dark, in the scum, in the dank and the dung
something in me will remain
when everything of me goes down the drain

maybe you played the game harder than me
i thought i played hard but you're harder than me
it's easy to be hard when you're sure of yourself
it's easy to be with those books on your shelf
all those self-authored books on your shelf

maybe the inner light blinded you
maybe guilt is just what you needed
maybe you should have been looking for jesus
should is a word that i shouldn't use
jesus christ

my birth was a laughable accident
yours was divinely ordained
i look for god in the cracks in my floor
you don't look back when they shut the door
you're tired, and life is a bore

i see your point
it struck me through the eye
but i don't think life is a mistake
i relish the music you hate
that is the music i make

wilco puts him in his happy place
a reference for your poor pizza face
the weather’s fine
i turned on a dime
turncoat for rhyme
words, they got me
i got my words
what the fuck am i doing here?
can’t believe my mom asked me about luke
am i reviewing my life now?

god, sam, and ashley
yeah, it’s a big k p party
wow
that’s too true, mahn

2 Jun 2008

catherine and mallory

dyspersal

he sits in his chair, the virtual space where jefferson confronted - his sons from lilith

the nightsaver, saved her night, basking in the glow, rapid retrofade - played at suicide -- offended, deleted --- piled on

detritus ---- got home, nostalgized ----- published - tap tap tap tap tap tap ------

nightcourt - no qualms - egged me on, hard boiled, egged him on - the nice thing about moshpits, it's very intuitive in the

pit, group mind/mindless flailing, nice flailing, disco ordination, binary analog, intergalactic planetary, not enough core

to be hard, note enough card to be whore, too much guilt to be hedonistic, too much fun to be moralistic



radioactive ayahuasca

it's hard to go to sleep in good company
i damn you for being so cool
okay, that's enough
enough!

strangers on a train
totally krossed out
do the hip

if you wanna battle
you better put a flower in my shotgun
shotgun



i dreamed that we were under attack
by tigers, lions, love, rapid rivers
we had to choose, it was so prophetic
you're gonna get one, resonance, turning the frequency knob
the buddha statuette stood, stands, stony
buddha didn't help

dyspersal
dyspersal

cough
chest pain
bruised, strained ligaments
sprained sinews

he hadn't thought of rhiannon in two days
it's in a chasm anyway
dyspersal

off the electrical grid
dyspersonal
ashphault
wellworn
running out of diesel
waiting for the next paycheque
to fix her broken windows
dyspersal
dyspersal
the son revolves around the sun
fkjdkkdkdkddk
so one day
he may beat the drum
a head
and // continue our beating hearts
dyspersed
our beating art



what did we learn, in the school of cruel?
what do we do with the drunken sailor?
tear his genitals from his body?
a suggestion almost taken
the joy, of taking a beating
leather jacket
should we jack it?
choke em if you got em
release the ohm
sweet starseed melodic bleed nullprogeny
what is it that we need?
grease and greed
we are all conflicted
but what we need is
connection
dyspersion
understanding
aspersion
peace II
point oh
communication
dry fetus on the ground
ugly
beautiful
something negative
something beautiful
bets
such is life
betting woman
chants
chance
good times
cracked ribs

1 Jun 2008

endless stream of negative dreams

negative and violent dreams, every one is my enemy
the most familiar being the most malicious
rage and fear and loathing
not sure where it's coming from