10 Sep 2005

My state can beat up your state

My state is Great. A mighty great state with high-value currency. Air and naval superiority. A thousand deterrencies so if you’re not in the Nuke Club don’t even think about influencing our policy. We can rain fifty times as much death on the earth as the next greatest state, it's high stakes - did you feel the earth shake? They just blew Bikini Island to hell, testing atomic integrity - looks pretty good to me - fallout cooking your foreign flesh tasty. But a president once said to me: the ability to destroy an island is insignificant next to the emperor’s power to dress in new robes for new times.

My state can beat up your state. It's a state of hegemony. You'd better not fuck with my state. My state is democratic, because we're all modern and we know how things ought to be. After all, we did invent technology. And did I mention democracy?

But we're seasoned democracians so we know there need to be exceptions to democracy, like when people are saying treasonous things and when someone might be a terrorist. And sometimes for the Greater Democratic Good plus smooth statehood we’ll prop up a foreign tyrant, friendly giant, we like it when they save our oil, all snug in a refinery, fine with me.

Oil is important, it's what oils this big shiny gun-bristled democracy-spreading machine and if my Great God-blessed State ran out of gas, it would not be able to protect freedom. That's one of the altruistic side projects of our Great State - securing your freedom. Protecting you from those sub-people that do evil, and from yourselves. Some say we grate on you and why do we continue when you keep on with your shameful ungrateful state-hating sour grapes? I guess we're just too committed to freedom.

If you have anything against my statement, take it up with Mr. Cruise Missile.

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